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Birds are boring

  Incredibly beautiful yellow bird with yellow feathers over a yellow body. Yellow tail feathers match perfectly with yellow legs and feet. Doesn't clash with yellow furniture. $10.00 Yellow bird
 
  Distantly related to the Toucan, this bird has no color whatsoever. This bird likes to talk and sing, easily learning your favorite hymns or cute American phrases such as "I am not a crook!" $1000.00 RepubliCan
 
  Hundreds of years ago, these birds may have had brains, but not anymore. So incredibly stupid, these birds will gladly sleep in the oven. When you get hungry, quietly throw in two potatoes and set temperature to 425 degrees for 1 1/2 hours. $75.00 Ug
 
  Small colorful bird, typically blue or green. Many accessories available to teach your pet to talk. Books, such as "Idiots guide to pretending your bird can talk" and "Ventriloquism for Dummies", are invaluable aides. Perfect for people who like to talk to themselves but want an excuse. $10.00 Parakeet
 
  Tiny sap sucking bird that will amaze and delight your whole family. This hyperactive piece of poultry will happily nest in your ear and drink from your glass of soda. This little birdie has no known predators because it's not big enough to be worth eating. $50.00 Bugbird